You and your wife are indulgent parents with an obvious cache of money for your son's future, right? Or are you like most of us who read your blog/columns?

Snap out of it! Maybe junior loves music. I love music. I'm not a music genius, then again your son is probably not a music genius, either. He just excels at it. If he were a genius in the field Julliard would be knocking down your door. Get real.

You and your wife are doing your son a disservice by allowing him to think that he will be able to support himself as a composer of classical music. Based on your picture, you don't look that young to me . . . so, how many more years do you think you'll be working in order to indulge his passion?

If it really is a passion he'll find time for it - after or around his own work schedule. According to you, your son is interested in more than music. Let those interests blossom as well so that they include acquiring the needed tools to earning a living and build his own family's future based on that - or on his musical interests.

And have you even thought about his personal future? Let's assume he's an average kid who wants to spend the rest of his life with a person on his dreams. Who will marry Little Mozart with no skills other than composing? Another starving artist?

Being the composer may have some sort of romantic allure, but that fades fast when he can't pay for the rent or the utility bills or even his own child's education.

I wish your son the best of luck, whatever your choices are. Just give him the time to mature and the education he'll need to make a mature choice to live the life of a classical music composer in this century, or to choose a life built on a career that allows music composition to play a key role in it.

For now, it seems that you and your wife appear to be his future's worst enemies. That may sound harsh, but I say that because in our society and in these economic times, without money there can be no security, and without security there is turmoil in one's life. Money can't buy happiness, but it pays for the house where happiness lives.

Give him the tools he'll need to build and maintain that house for himself. Mommy can put the spoon down now. Junior needs to learn how to feed himself, for the rest of his life.

If you paint the financial picture for your son as clearly as you did in this article, and help him on whatever path he chooses, then you are providing, not only all the parenting you need to, but the best as well.

The problem with material success being the only measure that counts in our society is that we become nothing more than money grubbing robots like our cynical friend Ania here, (who observes): "Without money there can be no security, and without security there is turmoil in one's life. Money can't buy happiness, but it pays for the house where happiness lives." (Her observation) is only partially true. If a person has enough cash to make ends meet and is pursuing something that glorifies and enhances our humanity, then I would say that person is far richer than the person with the McMansion and piles of stuff.

FWIW ,I've ended up taking the exact path Ania describes and I indulge my artistic self outside and around my job in community theater and music. It is very difficult to do, but for me, is better than not doing it at all. I'm only sorry I was cowed into not pursuing anything artistic as a career by well meaning guidance counselors and fear filled depression-era parents who felt that to do anything other than climb the corporate/professional ladder would be frivilous and foolhardy.

If the path my son is on holds steady, I'm going to be having the same dilemma in about four years so I pray for clarity and that the path will be made obvious. In the end there are no simplistic answers and the fact that you are ruminating publicly on this, in my book, makes you a great parent. I'm sure your son thinks so, too.

Nothing worthwile in life was ever gained easily. What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?

As long as the person pursuing a career in which financial success is very unlikely does not become a burden on society, who cares? Not me. But as pointed out early, the number of positions available for artists, composers and sports is very limited. It's good to have a backup plan, which sounds like your son does. I would encourage him to pursue his dream but also let him know that sometimes dreams need to be hobbies, not careers.

Tell your son to follow his dream. Composing classical music (or any music) is something best pursued now while he has the energy and passion. Continue to give him realistic information about what his standard of living may be and how hard he will have to work. He can teach. He can tune pianos.

All of these contribute to the economy. The real tragedy would be for your son to reach the age of 45 and become frustrated with the mundane business environment and have to look back wtih regret at not having tried to do something he loves.

I have a degree in mathematics and an MBA and I've learned that most of what goes on in the business world from day-to-day is mind-numbingly boring. Oh, it is hard work, but unless you are fortunate enough to become a real strategist and rise to the C-level, it can drive an intellectual to distraction. For jobs at the level that will really challenge your son and provide satisfaction, the competition is just as fierce as for college professorships.

By age 30 he will know if he's done the right thing, and it won't be too late to change gears.

Don't question your parenting skills. I applaud your support for your son. The fact that he wants to be involved in the classics says it all. You are in fact helping society by supporting his desires. We would be a much poorer society without the classics and I am afraid the trend seems to be away from them.

Being on the business side of IT, I have to admit that the best technical people I have ever met have a music and math background, perhaps your son will blend his skills into a mixed lifestyle, IT dollars and the contributions he can make as a classical composer. We encourage the people in our firm to give back to the community and it seems your son could do just that.

I wish success for your son no matter what he chooses. Just hope he realizes he can have the best of both worlds.

I lean more towards Ania than Joe. We're teaching our pre-teen kids (one girl, one boy) that "Whatever you do, you need to be able to support yourself and child on your own."

Sure, the average composer makes $36K/year, but after how many years? Does Junior want to own his own house? Does he want one like mom and dad's place? Can he do that on $36K/year? Maybe not.

Major in the math or sciences, minor in classical music. Get the best of both worlds. Junior can work the full-time gig and have the means to afford his hobby/passion of music. If the music parlays into a full-time gig, then God bless him. He's at least built a foundation on solid ground and solid marketable skills with his major.

Best of luck.

I remember seeing a show on cable years ago; Billy Joel was speaking at a college. One of the students asked whether she should write music or continue studying math (or whatever). I liked his answer: If you have to ask the question, then you don't belong in music. When I see artists who are consumed by painting or writing music or whatever their art form is, those are the people who need to make that their living. Not just those who are good at it or enjoy it or even love it, but those who wake up in the middle of the night and have to grab the pen and can't sleep or eat or anything until they've gotten it out of their head. These are people who wouldn't be successful in another career because they can't do their job with their art project getting in the way.

Your son doesn't sound like that (but you didn't really give an in-depth description, so you'll have to judge for yourself). He sounds more like my sister, who's talented in every art form she ever tried. She wins contests in photography, painting, sculpture, everything. And she's also writing a book. But I think she does about a half dozen art items a year and her real job is at a FedEx. As much as she loves art, it doesn't overwhelm her life; I don't think it could ever be more than a hobby for her. Ania and joebpax remind me also of a friend I carpooled with. She and her sister were very talented artists. They ended up going into computer science, and were very successful there, and used it to fund their art projects that they did on the side. And it's not that they haven't been prolific or creative or successful with their art, but they also had the talent to success in business, and, for them, it made doing the art easier since they didn't have to rely on their art to pay the bills.

Hope that helps some.

Parenting can be likened to planting a tree and watching/guiding its growth. Each tree is unique but is a memeber of a species. What is best: to allow the tree to follow its natural path or to guide it/bend it to another's goals? To treat it as an individual or as one of many trees in the forest?

Life is a balance of forces which can provide a framework in which an individual reacts. Given the ability to learn and think clearly a person can adapt to changing conditions. Pursuing an artistic education does not preclude one from changing careers later. Some of the best IT talent I have seen did not graduate with a IT or technical degree.

I would have to agree with Ania. You are looking at your son, not objectively, but as a parent. Thus, your vision is tainted, yet at least you see the light. She's right, if he was a music genius, Julliard would be knocking at his door. I assume from your post, that they are not.

However this does not mean that he can't indulge in his passion. Send him to school for a job that will support him, but at the same time make sure he keeps up with the music. There is nothing that says he can't go to college and earn a degree in mathematics with a minor in music. Thus, he will have the best of both worlds! During the day, he crunches the numbers, at night he's Mozart.

Remember Einstein did his best work as a patent clerk.

Ania, life is more than money. Far more. For 30 years, my adult life, I was doing exactly what you are doing. It's a classically Calvinist attitude: a belief that passion for a discipline should be subordinated to profitability. I believe strongly that one should be doing a job that has personal meaning. A job done without passion is done without quality, and there's nothing that drains one more than the continuing paranoia of mediocrity.

I have moved to a career that I love that is more lucrative than IT: I am a nurse. I have potential to grow. I have challenge. I have the ability to give of myself and go beyond the mundane. The field is as intellectually demanding as IT, if not more so. The field also requires me to involve myself as a person. Robots will never be nurses. Offshore workers will not take all the good jobs. There is a growing need for insightful people who want their careers to satisfy their needs for creativity and growth as well as put food on the table.

(By the way, nursing has not be a subordinate field to the physician for many years. The relationship between nurses and physicians is now more like that of engineers and architects. Damn shame we don't get the media attention to match.)

My feeling is that there is a social obligation to take your greatest gifts and put them to the service of society in the most powerful way possible. For me, my talents in IT may still be useful as a nurse, but my ability to analyze thoroughly, recall accurately, and decide quickly have a better and more satisfying use.

Eric, encourage your son to follow his dream. College is not a permanent commitment to a career; after two years he may find that the joy of music is better felt as a hobby than a job and he'll still be able to move on to other paths. He may drop out; noted drop out Bill Gates seems to be making the rent money. But your duty as a parent is more to elevate his talents than pick his spot in society for him. Don't lead him to bitterness and mediocrity.

Interesting topic. My brother, 25 years ago, was in the same position as your son (completing calculus offering as a sophomore, honors and AP coursework, etc). He had scholarships to anywhere his heart desired in any field of his choosing as a National Merit Scholar. He chose the music composition route at Oberlin College. To this day, I do not believe that he regrets his decision. Ania is correct, he has struggled financially, and now makes his living as a cabinet maker. He still writes music on a daily basis and his life is full of joy. Is this not the true sign of success?

For that matter, pursuing your "interests" in college does not guarantee success or a future in that interest. I have a degree in biology and my master's work was in zoology and yet today, I am the director of information technology for a national organization, representing nearly a billion dollars in sales. It is the pursuit of college and the exposure to new ideas that is the real meat one gains from the college experience.

If there is anything in American education that is worse than science and mathematics education, it is arts education. Having a talent for composing serious music is far rarer than a talent for IT work and IT management. Don't just permit him, encourage him.

That being said--and I speak from the perspective of one with a dual undergrad degree in physics and English, two masters degrees (one ABD) in English and a MBA in strategy and finance--it never hurts to build a foundation for a backup. To my mind that includes courses in English (learn how to write clearly and use literature as a vehicle for analysis and understand people and their motivations), psychology, math (particularly logic), and history (understanding the way societies evolve). Maybe economics. Not only do these provide an ideal basis for any business job, they widen the perspective of human nature.

The worst educational mistake is narrow, professionally focused courses of study--all learning the what instead of the why. There is still a strong rationale for the traditional liberal arts perspective, mixed with some courses not narrowly focused on career--or backup career--goals.

I could not disaggree more with Ania, above. The number of people who have done distinguished work in the arts without a full time committment is vanishingly small. And dare I say there is probably more benefit from a fine composer than from a fine IT person? After all, how many Allan Turings are there?

Encourage your son to follow his passion for music. One can infer that you will be able to send him to Juilliard or equal if he wishes to follow a musical career. A person should follow his passion in life rather than making a career choice based purely for monetary reasons. Take this from an engineer who has spent 45 years following his craft and enjoying it.

What good would 'directing him toward a career' if you son would be miserable? You are doing fine, in my book. I wish someone had encourage me to follow my passion, as long as I continued to explore my other talents. Do not overly specialize in education (get a good liberal arts education - a B.A. rather than a B.Mus or B.F.A.) and your son will have a much better background as a composer or whatever he chooses to be when he needs to earn a living.

Carpe Diem - everyone will end up pushing up daisies. Fill your days with joy. I worked for 25 years as an artist. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I have been working as a computer jockey for the past 15 years and loving that, too. I have taught my two children to do what makes them happy. They are both very bright and can go in any direction at any time they choose. They know how to work hard and they know how to face adversity and win. I think Ania is way off base; I feel sorry for a person with such a miserable attitude. Lastly, none of us are in the position to save the society, especially by bullying the children. Be kind, be gentle, work hard, do excellent work, make yourself proud. Pass it on.

My son is at the performing arts high school that "Fame" was based on, situated right across the street from Juilliard. He is a talented musician, but is considering a career in law enforcement or as a professional in one of the racquet sports. We have been discussing the pluses and minuses of business, music, law enforcement, etc. as careers, including financial rewards, lifestyle, and personal satisfaction. The bottom line: keep talking to your son and encourage him to have a backup plan. This would be smart for anyone, no matter what career they are pursuing. When I started in business, you were expected to stay at a job for years or forever. After two jobs, you were damaged goods. Now there is no employer-employee loyalty and people (have to) move all the time.

Here's what I'd say to your son (and to mine): Things change! Acquire different skills! Stay flexible! Do something you enjoy! Take care of yourself, not of society!

Nancy

Let me break this down for you. First, let's speak toward the statement regarding the mean income for classical music authors, $36k.

Very few people write classical music as a full time job. The ones that have that luxury, are making more than $36k because they have succeeded in that realm and have expertise. So let's say the kid write sheet music as a second job, or even a hobby that pays. Now they have a primary profession which hopefully they really like(or even kinda like) paying anywhere from $35k to $135k (think Amway), plus $36k in supplemental income. Minimum annual salary is $70k. If the kid excels at math, he should probably consider engineering. That sets them up for many many many opportunities, and doesn't lock them into anything specific(especially IT).

The vast majority of music authors, hold positions such as conducting, stage and screen, teaching, or whatever. If the kid thinks he wants to pursue music and you are convinced he is serious, committed, etc, there is no reason the kid shouldn't pursue those goals. Getting a music degree isn't going to shut any doors. It's a legitimate education, just like a BS, BBA, or Lib arts degree. Music is a science just like IT.

If the kid is smart enough, he can double major. If the kid is truly dedicated, he will find there way. This is especially true if the kid is gifted. I do agree with Ania in the sense that if you concentrate on the primary degree that equips you with wanted skills, it is an easier road traveled.

One other thing , if your committed to education, you have your whole life to achieve that goal. You aren't limited to a six years span between 18 and 24. I am now 43 years old and working on my third certificate. None are in my primary field of expertise(networks), and all three are in completely separate areas of training.

And, one other thing, if this kid doesn't pursue music, have him get into something other than IT. It's a rough business. One that very few are able to be successful and still look themselves in the mirror each morning and say, "I still have my credibility." Lip service drives the market. I will use MS as an example.

On last thing, if your a parent--and you care--then your a good parent. Reading, Writing, 'Rithmetic, Love and Discipline are the best formulas I have yet to encounter. Most kids, from a socialization perspective, are whom they will be by the 7th grade.

I will also say, that I married a woman like Ania, and they are good to have around when raising kids. Sometimes, you gotta bitch to get your point across.

Good luck,

Buffo

I don't think you are doing your son a disservice. I also think that if your son's talent and passion was for a sport no one would question you being supportive and encouraging of his dream. Bottom line is that in 10 years, the needs of the economy will again have changed. All your son can do is try to find what makes him happy and do that.

By all means, encourage him to pursue a double major, or at least take some business and math courses. But in the end, the best choice is a well-rounded education. It will be much easier for your son to pick up the math later on than it will be to start a musical career mid-life. There will likely be no shortage of opportunity to be a corporate cog later on.

My opinion is based on the premise that "different hearts play on different strings." Every person should pursue the career that best suits him or herself.

What is really important is to keep in mind to excel and get well past mediocrity.

There shall be science as well as arts people.

Luis Chavira

I didn't see any mention of the IT slump in the responses. My perspective is--that's why so few kids are training for a career in IT. They've seen companies ship their IT opportunities off-shore for a lower hourly rate. They know people in the profession who have struggled to keep their careers going.

Why train for a career in a commoditized profession?

I took the music path. I am now an IT executive.

People who believe there is no money in composing or writing music are either fools or ignorant fools. My passive music income is greater than many middle manager incomes. Because of music, I saw the world, speak multiple languages and have cultural insights few have been blessed or privileged to experience.

Ania suffers from a disease I call 'tunnel wisdom'. If I could do anything to make a difference now, it would be to speak out against the Anias of the world and help cure the pandemic disease of tunnel wisdom.

People and their passion make things happen. Follow your dreams and make things happen.

As we watched the funeral for JFK in 1963 my parents discovered my acceptance letter for a well-known conservatory in the upper Midwest. It wasn't the Eastman School, but it was my dream at the time.

My credentials were quite strong for a small town/almost dairy-farm-boy. As kids, we did lots of interesting and exciting stuff, ranging from classical music, long distance running and tinkering with skeletons of automobiles that were 15 to 20 years older than us. We thought we were pretty good and for the locality and environment at the time our self-estimates were not excessively inflated.

We had lots of passions and our parents supported chasing the dreams.

Draft boards soon had their say and like many of my generation, we soon discovered that the real world was quite different than the view instilled by our families and communities.

Our vocational outlooks changed, but it was the well founded passion for doing something and doing it as well as we could imagine that has been the greatest gift endowed by my parents and hometown.

Your son obviously has the self-confidence to know that he has considered your advice and teaching, but wants to pursue his passion. He probably doesn't feel guilty and neither should you parents. You've done your job. Now sit back and enjoy him as he succeeds and is happy with himself and life.

Your concern is admirable and understandable. Here's the thing: you need your son to know absolutely that it's his decision, not yours. It's easy to say those words, but sometimes parents can unconsciously (or passive aggressively) impose their own preferences.

The truth is, he can go down either path and if, after a while, it doesn't work, he can change. That's the upside to the death of lifetime employment.

But I also agree with the message of not going overboard to support him financially. Obviously you don't want him on the street, but people have to grow up and live with the financial consequences of their decisions. The good news is, people in their 20s often don't need much. I think Californians can forget that most people live happily on less than $100K, way less!

Good luck. I think your son will be fine no matter what he chooses.

In my work with high school and middle school leadership students, I often encounter this dilemma. Somewhere in the parenting role, too many "adults" get caught up in teaching their children to make a living... I would submit that the greater service to our young is to provide them the tools to make a life.

I'm an IT guy (private consulting for 25+ years after some time with the iron vendors) who spent my first two years of college as a music major. Did I make the change on economic grounds? Among other things. I discovered in college year 3, after touring the business department first as a management major and then a marketing major, that I had a creative passion for cutting code that was parallel to my passion for scripting scores. Hello "Business Systems Analyst" program!

My parents' encouragement for me to live a life of discovery and growth permitted me to view college as just a process of adding life skills, not as a means to a solitary financial ends. Now I can blend my computer work with some part time music activities in a manner that lets me appreciate both.

And a side note to Voltaire, above: Along with his number crunching and work in the patent office, Einstein was also a violinist.

Stay the course, Eric, encourage your son to live (and love!) life, not just earn a living.

Money is not the only yardstick. You can be happy on $36K a year and miserable on $200K; it all depends on what your work gives back to you in terms of satisfaction.

That said, with our son, we have asked him to look at many factors in picking a career. What is a typical day like for someone in that field? What kind of lifestyle does he want? What sort of things are most important to him? Would he be willing to work two jobs to support his passion? Would he want to stick with his chosen field if it were really difficult to get a job? Does he like people in the field?

Ask the adults you know: how many of you are doing what you went to school for? You would be surprised how many people aren't in their chosen profession. No decision is forever. If he picks a path, and is unhappy, he can pick another path.

It's a sad state of affairs when we think we have the right to tell our children what will make then happy and what won't. If we are to raise our children to be the thinking independent adults we strive them to be, then we must tell them we trust them to make the decisions that are right for them, not us. That said, if children make decisions that suit them, then if we desire not to support them financially, then that is our boundary as parents.

It's not surprising that your son has an aptitude for math and music. This is a long known link. Music composition is very logical and years ago, music majors were recruited as programmers in the days of the IBM 1620s when IT degrees were almost non-existent. I personally started my college career in 1974 as a music major and ended up switching to business information systems. I've never regretted the switch because I chose to make music my hobby, not my livelihood, but it was MY choice not my parents.

I've watched the IT field change over the past 30 years, for all its good and bad. These are life decisions children must make at a very young age and they are very difficult. But there are too many people out there in jobs they hate and lives they regret because they were too afraid to believe in themselves and pursue their dreams.

Once your son reaches college, he may very well change his mind. That's what happens when they leave the protection of home and venture off on their own. For me, my son is studying chemistry; it has been his life's passion. He will need to get a Ph.D. by the time he's done, but if this is what he wants, then it is his dream, not mine.

You've given him information about salary and lifestyle. Let him choose or he may end up in therapy when he's 40, telling his analyst how his parents didn't understand him. It really sounds to me like you do.

You are a good parent because you want the best life for your son.

Due to my personal experience and significant education, I would say fully experiencing effective pursuit of one's dream is essential to either be fully successful in it or discover a more appropriate priority of it in one's life. Making the dream subservient to more "practical" or more "altruistic" life's purpose minimizes the amount of energy available for success in all realms. Doing so also may lead to dysfunctional life styles.

Uplifting of society through music is also a possible outcome of that profession. What does society need to be whole? I think it is not just applied technology, legal prowess or business acumen.

I propose the following purpose in life, to:

1. Love unconditionally.
2. Seek knowledge.
3. Be in service.

The form needs to be appropriate for the occasion, but the intention is consistent.

Your son will be able to get both the education he needs "by scholarship" and pursue his music desires. It is good to round out your education. But it's not up to any single individual to save society from illiteracy in science and math.

I wish I had supportive parents when I was younger who would have been interested in my higher education since I lack interest in music other than to listen. But, I am not responsible for saving the world, either. All I can do is tell young people to stay in school no matter what courses they take.

I made it three months into my freshman year of high school and it was a year and a half before my mother was told I wasn't attending school. I was working full time instead and learning a trade in industry. So keep the interest in school a top priority for your son, but let him explore what he wants to do with his life.

You don't pick your life's dream, they seek you out and take you by the throat and won't let go. I got my GED and went to college for several courses after running my own business for 15 years that at 24 started from experience learned working my dreams. I still have the talent for gadgets and can see how things work in my head, but pursue other interests now.

Career changes can happen at any time and most often do. My mother never forced school on me, but she taught me how to use my head other ways. Reading was my source of education on most things, and I read everything I put my hands on, including this blog. when I finally went to college, I got 4.0 for the courses I took but found the time slow compared to what I was used to in the work world and was bored to tears shortly. School is like the military, some like it some don't. Structure fits people who need it, but gives you little time for creativity and freedom to do artistic endeavors. Society needs creativity along with science, math, medicine, philosophy, theology, the list is endless as to what society needs. Go ask someone who's dreams were unrealized until its too late, sitting on a street corner locked in a dreamless world of despair, and trying to escape in ways that can be a parents crushing nightmare.

When I was a teenager, I also had to make some tough choices because I had many skills. My mother, a single parent, made it very clear that I would have to support myself. I earned three degrees from MIT in electrical engineering before my 22nd birthday. I played clarinet in the MIT Concert Band during most of my five years at MIT. While in high school in the 1960s, I also studied clarinet at the Juilliard School Preparatory Division (three years) where I was awarded an honorary scholarship.

I have practiced in engineering/IT for more than 35 years and during that time I faced chronic unemployment, discrimination, and being underutilized, as well as the challenge of learning how to do something new in almost every job that I have had.

I thank God for blessing me with both the intellect and perseverance to survive these challenges. In the technology business, there are always chronic recessions, age discrimination and the expense and challenge of remaining competitive, which has been worsened by globalization. There is no sure thing as far as career choices go. I would advise finding and reading the book, Do What You Love The Money Will Follow.

Your major in no way determines your life path. Tell your son to major in what he loves, get a quality part-time job (one that he will walk away from with a marketable skill), and maybe take a few business classes.

I know a guy who was a very successful student in business school, and in spite of all his efforts and many good recommendations ,he cannot get a job in his field. I majored in art--it's what I love--and I worked at the campus TV station all through school. I make commercials now, and I draw and do freelance design work in my spare time.

College will not give him skills or guarantee him a job; it'll just give him a degree, which is still important in and of itself. So it seems to me that it's better to pursue something in school that you're passionate about.

The fact is that if he ever hopes to have a family, he needs to make a good living.

I can't begin to tell you how many students have borrowed money to get a university education and end up with substantial debts and can't start a family.

There is nothing stopping him from focusing on a great IT career which would provide for a side occupation of music composer.

Too many university/college students are taking courses that don't provide meaningful employment opportunities and then end up without employment in their field of interest.

Good tradepeople are often making more than lawyers and doctors.

My experience as a teenager was great. My parents trusted me and allowed me to "do my own thing." I graduated from high school and started to college in 1974. I wanted to be a graphic artist, which then was pre-PC. I lived with my parents, worked 32 hours/week, and attended 12 hours at the junior college. Life was grand.

I did not complete college at the time and that was OK with my parents. I wasn't ready and really didn't know what I wanted. They trusted my judgment. After all, I had to live with my decision; they didn't. It was one of the most key factors in who I am today: being trusted and allowed to make mistakes.

Fast Forward: I traveled a lot for next to nothing and eventually returned to school when I was ready. As an adult, I have always remained employed. I missed some opportunities, but took a few that came across my path. Today, I am an IT systems architect advisor for a very large express transportation corporation and I love the work I do. I am considering teaching math and science to 6th & 7th graders to get them engaged after I retire.

The point is trust your son, let go and stop trying to control; it is his path. Trust that you have instilled in him values that will make his path more gentle, some times. Tell him to get a job and play when he has time. A solid work ethic will pay off in the long run.

You are right on target, explain to your son the realities and financial impact of his pursuit of music as a career. Then let him pursue his passion.

I will always remember from my college days a speech given by Margaret Meade, the notes anthropologist. She gave her definition of career vs. job. A career is something you would pay someone to let you do if you were not already getting paid to do it. A job is something you do to get enough money so you can do the thing that you really want to do.

If your son can have a career (by this definition) in music rather than a job in science or technology, he may be far better off and much happier than most Americans.

Good God, commenter Ania is awful! Sounds like my new supervisor: no kids, spent her whole life on My Career, patronizing, bitter, twitchy, egotistical to the point of being intolerable to be around for more than a few minutes at a time, unable to give credit. Money, money, money. I work for her in the marketing department of a startup software company. This work is as far from what I want to do as I can be, but it pays.

I am old enough that there is no turning back to what I ought to have been doing and what I was once determined to do (be a musician), but my father insisted I would "die" if I followed that path - a path that has not only given millions of people deep personal fulfillment but enabled them to develop a career that saw them raising a family and, as we all know, riches that would turn many a CEO green with envy in some cases.

You are a good, even great parent as long as you tell your son, as my father waited to be on his deathbed to say to me, "you should do whatever you want." The sort of iron-fisted control Ania advises is fine I suppose, if control is what floats your boat. But it doesn't seem to be, so continue to be true to your heart as well, and all will be fine.

I am going to speak from personal experience. I went to school for something I thought was my passion, structural engineering. I was wrong. Even though I was fascinated by it, when reality finally set in I didn't want to do it every day. Computers were my true passion. I let my parents have a little too much influence on me in steering me down the engineering path, too. But looking back, I really didn't know what I wanted to be.

The reality is the odds are greatly stacked against your son in attaining his goal of becoming a composer successful enough to be able to support himself. Think of it this way, star high school athletes are recruited. They get scholarships, but what percentage actually go on to play that sport professionally and successfully? How many last more then a year or two at the minimum salary? That is sort of what your son is shooting for. I didn't hear you say any major art schools are actively pursuing him either. Don't get me wrong there are plenty of walk on success stories in sports out there, but they are the exception.

Then there is the livability factor. $36k a year in a city where this career is even plausible is hardly enough money to exist on. Add into that the fact that your son is still a kid. Don't get me wrong; many people really know what they want in high school, but I would bet a large some of money the truth is he is still in a fantasy world. I am betting your family lives very comfortably; he has no concept of what a hard life is. (I could be wrong.) He would not live comfortably. He most likely would not have health care, etc. I know some very bright people that went down similar paths, pursuing art in some fashion. Some are destitute, some ended up with miserable jobs because an art degree from even the most prestigious of art schools didn't mean much in the "real" world. Some were lucky enough to marry someone capable of supporting them.

If he were my son with the intelligence he has and knowing the difference between the art world and the real world, I would push him to yes go to a university with a top notch music program (pursuing his dream) andAND other quality degrees. Something with accredited programs in math and sciences. I would insist he work toward a dual degree, don't take the easy watered down versions of math or science courses. Take the full blown ones. They cost the same and if he changes his mind he won't need to repeat classes. A degree in music and one in something that he could rely on to make a living. In all honesty, a degree in music and one in math or physics could work very well together. Music is math and physics after all. Add a teaching certificate and he would be a well qualified teacher if all else failed.

Why not a musical career with multiple dimensions such as,

1. classical music composition
2. musical instrument production
3. musical store
4. music event management
5. audio recording studio
6. audio rights and distribution
and many more...

If you look at the big picture there is an opportunity to make it huge. $37k looks miniscule.

Happy Parenting...! Shiv

My parents didn't live to see me graduate so I never had this problem. I paid for not only an MA in music composition but a doctorate on my own. The entire time I knew there wouldn't be a big salary waiting for me. Put it this way: how many classical LPs, CDs or MP3s do you own? Out of that number how many are by living American composers? And if you answer with a number > 0 then how many people do you know answer the same?

My point is that money is not the goal of a classical music degree. It is far more important to develop a rare talent. My music training has made it crashingly easy to learn software development technologies. So, determining how to implement a service-oriented architecture to integrate legacy silos other newer technologies is child's play.

Vocational training like a computer science degree often--not always--produces dullards who lack critical thinking skills like Ania Levy. You tell me: with whom would you rather have a lunch conversation? A software licensing expert or someone like composer John Adams, Richard Danielpour, Todd Machover or Bernard Rands (just to name a few)?

Speaking from a professor's point of view in a CIS/information security program first and commenting on the article ... unfortunately, the freshmen who do want careers in IT often struggle to keep up with understanding the inter-workings the technology they use daily due a lack of understanding of the math and science concepts and theories. They either have to go back into basic math classes (meaning algebra, trig, etc.) or change majors.

What this means is that the CIS/CS departments have fewer and fewer students year over year; therefore, there are fewer and fewer people to pass the baton to in not only the CIS/CS professions but in the educational communities, as well. What this ultimately results in is that the U.S. will continue to fall behind other nations in technology.

We as a society--where we are participating in a country where there is ample opportunity and resources to be a leader in the world of technology--need to understand it is unacceptable to be 19 out of 26 when it comes to our children's education in 2007.

Now to put on my other hat, a parent with a 17-year-old daughter who would love nothing more than to be a ballerina and also has an aptitude for chemistry and physics. I've directed her education to the sciences which she will continue on through her undergrad program. However, she still takes dance class once a week, dances for a local ballet company and is captain of her high school dance team. She also is the captain of her track team, another passion which both will continue on during her college education and most likely her life.

I agree with Voltaire and am directing my daughter to study science as her major and dance as a minor, the best of both worlds.

We need to follow our passions and dreams, but we need to keep ourselves grounded in reality.

Just my two cents.

When I was starting off in college, I was very interested in making lots of money, having fancy cars, living in a big house and otherwise living like a rock start.

Now that I'm middle-aged, my time is infinitely more important than having money. I'm pretty sure I could be happy running a t-shirt shop in the Keys, making just enough to live comfortably and travel in the off-season.

My point is that the answer to your question lies only in your son's personality and priorities in life. Any answer a reader would provide would only be relevant from his or her point of view.

So, your son might be an average composer who will make a survival wage and be the happiest person on the planet. On the other hand, he may feel he made the biggest mistake of his life after 10 years of struggling to pay the bills.

Then, of course, there's always the option that he'll become the most sought-after composer in Hollywood and hire the likes of us as gardeners. :)

There is a generational issue here that no one seems to have addressed so far. Kids today assume that technology will be a part of their career and view it as a means to an end rather than an end by itself.

Both of my kids have chosen to study and receive recent degrees in science (son=chemistry, daughter=biology, & son-in-law=physics). My wife and I work in IT. We exposed our kids to technology from an early age. I also mentor current college students, primarily in business majors.

They all have the common view that technology is an agent of empowerment, but the real value is added in the application of that technology.

They don't see their careers in IT, but they see IT as an integral part of their careers!

Isn't that what we have preached for a generation?

What's the difference between a pizza and a musician.
A pizza can feed a family of 4.

My 3 children, now 30, 28, 26, all were active in music programs through school and, having so much fun, wanted to major in music in college.

My comments to them:
Earn a degree with future job prospects and then you can afford to support the arts while not having to live at their near poverty level.

People spend 20 hours a week on average watching TV. You can work and spend your after hours playing music. Daughter #2 has done this by starting a local band and she plays keyboard while working as a medical professional during the day. Son, #3, while working as an engineer, has played the guitar for pleasure and with friends over the years.

The world doesn't need a zillion musicians. We need scientists, computer geeks, etc.

What I would do differently with ...
... daughter #1, an excellent student - no. 12 out of 400 in her class by gpa:

Daughter #1 was determined to major in music, which she did against my wishes, but she had to combine it with something like business (or education, etc.). If I had known she was going to declare music as a major for sure, I would have said community college for you, which has a wider range of 'marketable' majors or general studies and not famous for music or arts programs. She would have completed 2 years there and then have to choose a major at a 4 year college. By then I think she would have lost momentum in music and moved on to something else.

Son did just that although he was at the cc due to lacka student initiative as a teenager, unlike his two older sisters. Son finished the 2 years and then was accepted into a university engineering program. Once in college he became a good student and made high grades, particularly in the math and physics classes. Not so much in biology, chemistry, and all of the others. It was a proud day for me when he graduated with his degree in mechanical engineering. Second daughter, always a good and hard-working student, has an advanced medical degree, another beamingly proud day for our family. I work for her two Saturdays a month in her medical office and she's wonderful with her patients.

First daughter has been teaching now for several years - good years, bad years, good days, bad days, although overall she likes it. Just doesn't love it. Is now looking at girlfriend in IT, same age, making 100K+ and has decided to take some IT courses. She's been assisting the systems admin at her school and apparently is the go-to-girl for computer problems from other teachers so now she's signed up for computer science classes. She says she's not happy with her teacher pay, and I know their (she & husband, also a teacher) finances are tight.

Someone majoring in music is going to most likely need some kind of subsidy to their musicianship income, or lack thereof. Medical professional daughter's husband has done this by marrying her. He teaches music lessons. Basically, she's the wage earner in that household. Don't think it's wanted as she had talked about being a stay-at-home mom when she had kids but that's what she got.

Ok now I finally can't sit any more and not say something.
There are many issues here but lets start with parenting.
AS a person born when jet planes started to fill the skies let me give you my perspective.

The social value system then was appreciation for what we had which was based on the concept of respect, appreciation and that any thing can be accomplished if you work hard together and have a valid plan. We learned from the WW2 that there is a better way for the human race to develop. So we were instilled with the values of becoming the best you could be and use your talents and abilities to make this a better world and you, your family, friends and community would all benefit.

Why I tell you this is the philosophy was not me first but me the best I can be and how best to contribute. You see back then you chose a career and probably stayed with it and that job your whole life. So focus on your career was as critical as your marriage partner.

You learned great self-discipline since schooling now was more formalized and better organized and the accumulation of knowledge the highest priority. This attitude put us on the moon, and we went from slide rulers to calculators to transistors to the rest of the story in ONE generation. We went from horse drawn plows to mechanized farm systems from segregation to civil heterogeneity or cultural diversity.

What is the issue is that in one generation we left the 19th century and jumped to the modern world and this had its problems, challenges and rewards. The one common factor in all successful societies is the value system that we teach responsibility to self and others and that what we want is truly what is best for everyone.

We need as parents to teach the youth how to be challenged, problem solving abilities and the technical skills to push us to the next level.

WHY can't a kid be a classical musician and a PHD/ MS in Computer science also. WE waste way to much time one self entertainment and not on social synergy.

Here is outline for a more successful generation.

SECTION 1
From age 1-16:
1- learn respect for others and what we do have
2- learn basic reading ,writing and math skills,
3- how to handle finances and concept of compound interest/ investing.
4- learn social interactive skills , manners, etiquette
5- learn a foreign language / culture
6- learn the arts / play in instrument and the arts
7- learn basic vocational skills carpentry, plumbing, electrical etc.
8- learn to cook
9- learn basic hygiene and home skills
10 be exposed to some religious or philosophical
systems
11- have some exposure to history / the past
12 how to garden
13 go to a farm
14 learn to use technology affectively for a broad base, and anyone who gets most of this and is a still a socially troubled individual has a more severe issue that needs prof help.

SECTION 2
After 16- adult 21;
1- begin social engagement /learn the perspective of others and become interested in more personal interactive skills/dating
2- develop more clear direction/plan for career development and career skills*** Senior HS to College.
3- complete basic career/vocational skills
4- improve level of skills in section 1
5- possible social partner/ depending on maturity
and social development/stability
6 - develop more social, emotional, physical,psychological, mental and spiritual awareness and grace
7 become more independent
8 expand awareness beyond self to others and maybe society It is know accepted from research that ages 19-21 an individual is at another critical phase when the cerebral higher process is quickly formalizing and is difficult time for decision processing so the need for well developed plan to follow at this stage finally

Post 21 ADULT
now go out create, challenge, edify, cooperate, collaborate, respect, and appreciate everyone and everything around you that you can and the world will be a better place and we won't have to worry about the next generations.

My plan of Success.

I agree with Ania, but I think it takes personal experience to see why no one could follow her advice.

The world is tough place and especially to artists. I spent the first 8 years of my adult life as Classical Composer and Technical Producer. I went to school for Mathematics, I performed, and I followed my heart. Nobody told me that all the girls chase the guy who has the good job, so my heart was broken a lot, too.

The one point that Ania missed is that there is no safe choice, because a lot of IT jobs are being moved offshore and guys like Bill Gates have the culture of a crack-pimp. All I can say is don't sacrifice everything to become anything - just tell him to do his best and he will probably be many things and wear many hats.

I found that my experiences as a composer help me with IT and I am secretly training myself to become a greasy-spoon diner cook for my retirement. Since the IBMs, Intels, and Microsofts will screw anyone who gives them their pragmatic devotion - he should make his own choice (and he will).

Tell him that Mozart made about $ 200,000 a year and that both Beethoven and Mozart were sober, intelligent business men who also cared about the world they live in. Contrary to belief, they did not write music all day.

As long as he is not a wastrel, and has a good work ethic as an artist, or any other professional, he will go farther than he ever imagined and have some depth and character that this society so desperately needs.

Ania is right though - money does buy happiness, but art gives you the class to spend your money well.

If we pursue material gain over artistic endeavour, then we will live in a world of autonomous mediocrity. To only allow the few artists who can achieve substantial monetery gain in thier than we decide that they are to define art for us. Terrible. Just terrible.

Admittedly I am a biochemistry major who fully expects a consistent, stable career in a lab, and relegates creative endevours to his spare time.

Many great programmers are also great musicians. Music is another language and you learn patterns and terms and it gets into your head.

The way I do my very best code is to listen to Beethoven or Vivaldi. Want me to code fast? Put on Rachmaninoff .

I'm a 20-year IT guy, long time coder from mainframe Assembly, REXX, Basic, C, C++, Java, Perl, ksh. DB2 DBA.

I'm also planning to sing the Messiah with the church choir at Christmas. My son is now in seventh grade in clarinet and I want more than anything just to be able to play the trumpet again.

He can do both music and IT, especially coding. The trick is to find a balance in a world where you're worthless until you have experience and the you're devalued to the cheapest person who says they can code your language, whether it be in Austin or Afghanistan.

The real issue is that once you're considered of some value then you're asked to work so much you don't have a life any more. Find an employer who will let you have a life, that is a valuable and rare find.

First of all, all parents have some area where they do fail, so don't be surprised when you finally learn about where yours was. Do not misunderstand me, in my opinion, you fall into the good area, as you are asking. I have three comments related to giving him space, career-both/and, and discovering how he's really wired.

Despite all your best intentions, (especially because he is musically inclined, too) you can manage to throw rotten tomatoes on him by hovering too closely. I've been living with two children who were literally squelched by a parents hovering control and both also have musical interests. (The subconscious message is..."You need us to do this for you...we know you can't do it alone," is able to undermine all positive self-esteem and self-motivation.) I don't think you would ever want to do this. For your child, it is too benevolent a gesture to refuse, with damaging consequences-especially if he is not other-socially involved.

You nor he should feel that his choices cannot be both/and. To me, it is just logical because it takes time to excel in music and a means of support is needed until that time arrives.

Finally, he should be encouraged to take personality tests and work interest tests to find his greatest areas of career interest. Example: A person who goes into law needs to enjoy arguing.

Encourage the reading of some good self-discovery texts and personality indicator tests. Rather than clouding the issue, they will show him his areas of highest likelihood of actual success. One that I found very revealing was located at www.tickle.com.
I consider Ania's response a bit too scathing, unless you are like the mother of the children I am living with (they both live at home-in their 30s). That parent appeared to also only have the best of intentions. Following our dreams involves both pursuing them and arranging for the practical necessities. I think the Einstein comments shed light on what I'm trying to express.

Why are you treating this as an either\or issue at this point in your son's (or any high school student's) life? Send him to a school like Oberlin with strong music and academic programs, with dual degrees. He'll be set for whatever career(s) he chooses to follow for the rest of his life.

I'm 54, and have spent the last 25 years of my life in lucrative IT positions. I was a classical music student in college, and never took a single computer course (back then it was mainframes, yawn) but got degrees in bio sciences. Couldn't find a lucrative bio job out of school (ended up in computing by accident), but I did play in rock bands for years. That never paid the rent but it was very satisfying. Looking back, I'm not sure I would have done it differently, but recently when asked what job I would want if I could have my choice, I could only honestly answer, "Musician." (of course, that would require the previous career of "Super Lotto Winner.")

Don't worry. He will give up on classical music and turn to rock, where the real money is.

The only disservice we, as a society, ever do to kids is to not teach them that:

Encourge your kids to read everthing they can regardless of what it is and to question and argue with everything. Accept nothing at face value.

Sooner or later they will find something that they love and then they'll be great at it.

Nothing is more depressing than talking to a person who is never should have gone into a line of work and is miserable.

I gave up my passion to make more money. Lesson learned: I'd rather be poor and happy.

You are doing the right thing with your son Sam. If he were to go into IT, his life will most likely not be as happy or even as productive of one. All of society benefits when people are able to work in the area that they enjoy. And all of society suffers when people are "stuck" in a job that they neither enjoy or feel is worthwhile.

Charlie

As an example, a friend of mine has a successful career with Intel (just last summer her took his required two month sabbatical, after seven years of service), and also runs a very successful blues band based on Charlotte. Is he busy? Very. Is his family stable financial? Apparently so. Is he happy? When he's playing, it sure seems so.

We compartmentalize, which precludes the ability to be involved and passionate about more than one thing. We also think we have a right to happiness--all the time. Not realistic. It is the "PURSUIT of happiness" that a group of diverse, intellectual entrepreneurs determined was an inalienable right, not happiness itself. In other words, what good is something that you don't have to work and sacrifice for?

Your son can be a "successful" composer, but not if he becomes complacent and lazy. Whatever character qualities have made you successful, Eric, continue to build those in him. America allows him to make his own decisions, and live out the consequences.

I do worry about the loss of technical talent; a friend and I (he owns an architectural engineering company; I manage part of the technical team for a VAR in our area) were just discussing this last week. The longer term issues are the potential dependence our country would have on other parts of the world--many of whom are not that enamored of us anyway. THAT scenario is the one that should concern us for our children and grandchildren.

I think there may be a point that we're all missing here. One, taking an interest in your son's future is serving society more than trying to take the helm and steering him toward a given career. Secondly, the marketplace is not static; in 20 years our society may or may not need what it may desperately need now. And there are going to be great paying jobs that don't even exist right now. Who knows, maybe there will be therapists for computers, "now...tell me about your motherboard..."

The point is to get an education: have a plan A and a plan B, then settle for plan C, which may have absolutely nothing to do with A or B. Just be the best person you can be, the best employee will follow, and you've already taught him the most important lesson, that family is where your happiness will be.

I would advise you and your wife to "encourage" you son to use both of his skill sets.

When I was in high school, I had a passion for music and science. I used both to help me. I worked initially as a computer tech for various companies and played jazz music at various clubs and venues at night and weekends. The other very important thing that you could impart to your son is a strong sense of entrepreneural spirit! Show him that he does not need to simply "work for someone else"! Teach him to feed both his passions and let the one that brings in the most money feed and support the other.

I'm going to try to address your question in CIO Insight ("Parenting and IT's Future") in which you asked if not steering Sam toward a lucrative career in IT was the right thing for society.

Here in Silicon Valley, which is full of people who should be enjoying the fruits of their lucrative careers, I instead see fearful, snappy, unhappy, worried, stressed, and unfulfilled members of society - but excellent consumers.

What kind of society do you get when everyone is wondering why they get up in the morning and hating every minute of their life?

Why... what we have now, where the only thing left to do is fear the loss of what you already have... and sacrifice your civil liberties and your country's international standing on the altar of a comfortable lifestyle. No amount of IT professionals can rectify a sick society. What if we are really meant to fulfill our passions rather than sit in comfortable obscurity in a cubicle, earning a good living?

I work with a business partner and colleagues who truly have a passion and vision for IT and where it's going. They are successful and happy because they are on their Purpose - and they are contributing to the technological and societal good. But forcing our children to give up their passion and dreams for a good living will never result in that kind of synergy. Instead it contributes to a nationwide epidemic of burnout, addictions, ill health, and wasted potential.

As a nation, we have spent far too long worrying about our comfort and as a result thinking that the comfort of our children is the highest service we can perform for them. Perhaps this is based on our parents' generation, where survival and total loss where burned into them by the Great Depression. It's time for us to look up from the past and see that what the future demands isn't a reaction to our patterns of fear and loss, but to embrace the gifts each of us carries. You are doing the right thing by your son.

Firstly, we ask ourselves, what is the true meaning of life? What do we need to survive and what makes us happy?

Artists' think out side of the box, it seems. To most, what is money, but means to buy music or paint. These people are satisfied by expression of self through drawing, painting, writing, speaking, composing, etc. Being poor sucks. My mother has supported me and her self at 10 dollars an hour. She was an artist. I can't remember never being unhappy because I didn't get the toys that I wanted, or because I didn't get to watch cable Saturday morning. I was happy because my mother and I spent a lot of personal time together. It was easy to make each other happy with out all the money in the world. She didn't want to live like that the rest of her life, but the times that we have had were good.

I've noticed families who are circumstantially poor end up closer together. Maybe it's because they aren't blinded by the lust 'things' money can buy.

You don't have to be upper class to be high in society. Let your son do what he loves. Love is hard to find anymore. People concern themselves too much with money, and lose focus on what's really important and that's family and love. Not public schools and college. Those should come second.

Let up on the pressure. Try and relax. In due time, the answers will come to you without you trying to find them

Earning $30,000 to $40,000 isn't a bad living depending on where you live. It's sad that some people see that as not being enough. I've met people who'd do anything for a cheeseburger let alone that much money a year.

A user maxie posted the following: "I gave up my passion to make more money. Lesson learned: I'd rather be poor and happy."

For a classical music composer, the former is virtually assured, the latter is rather elusive.

I'd rather be happy AND rich. Then again, being rich is a relative concept, and sufficiently reduced wants might result in feeling rich on $36K/year.

I am faced with similar choices to make. Neither of my two kids has a burning desire for anything, and both are equally good in math, music and arts? I've seen enough of how race to the bottom destroys careers, and I am understandably wary of IT future for my kids. And yet, science does not oppose art, it only allows for deeper appreciation. No one could predict what would be the market into which our children would graduate in future; one could be reasonably sure that a solid base in logic, basic math as well as appreciation for finer things in life would continue to be important for whatever field one might enter. After all, this was true for the last 5,000 years :)

The question was. . . Am I failing as a parent by encouraging him to follow his dream? The answer is, most assuredly not. Encouragement in general, will never hurt a child.

However, obsession, single mindedness, and the loss of balance in one's performance as a parent,
will do it.

Let me first say, there are no perfect parents. They don't exist. So don't even try to attain what is fictional. My only advice is, listen to your children!

By listening to your child, you will learn what is important to them. By learning what is important to them, you may be able to help them acheive their goals. There is no gaurantee, so don't expect complete success. A matter of fact, it isn't really about success as much as it is about letting the child know that you are on their side. Make sure they know this!!! As they go through life, they will learn that very few people in life are 100 percent, no holds barred, on their side, NO Matter What!

While we all want our children to be well versed academically and succeed at various levels of higher learning, it is completely impractical for us as parents to believe our view of the world is in any way shared by our children. These views are more commonly adopted as the children age, or not at all.

In closing, I want to add;
Ania, don't be a hater, be a dreamer!

GL, give King James a rest, it doesn't apply in this context. Were talking about parental approaches, not eternal danmnation.

Daniel, that is way too many rules for a child to track and/or care about, most of them can't recite the pledge of allegiance, let alone your credo.

Elizabeth, No matter how many Oberlin's we create as a society, the majority of children won't quality for these type of institutions because the people that run them think to highly of themselves.

Ben, did you get beat up on the playground alot?

Happy New year people!

Parents have four responsibilities: to love unconditionally, to develop independence in the child, to ensure flexibility and to instill the ability to prepare for and embrace change.

The love means - support your child at what ever point they are and avoid making "strategic or permanent" judgments. It's okay to criticize as long as it is balanced and there's 360-Degree evidence and, most importantly, that you, as the parent, are sure that the criticism comes from love and not some other motive...like envy or domination or "a bad mood" or vicarious achievement.

Developing independence is about making rational decisions against a validated set of criteria and then taking ownership of the results of any personal action, feelings and thoughts - whether "good or bad."

Finally, life in the current century demands the ability to rapidly change course and destination along the way to the ultimate end. A person can and will have to change jobs and careers. For example- I've worked as a lifeguard, a restaurant worker and manager, a journalist and editor, a military enlisted and officer, a theater technician, producer and director, a teacher from ages 2-postgraduate, a parent, a business consultant, and an IT specialist. I'm certainly not world renowned, but I've never taken "government subsidy (welfare or 'the dole')," been a felon, or knowingly left destruction in my wake.

I've retrained, acquired more education, re-tooled. re-certified, and rewritten myself at least six times. My current personal goal is to leave the world a place where adults/mentors know how to enable children/employees to succeed, on the individual child's/employee's own terms.

I only read postings from Ania and part way thru Sept. 27th. All nuggets of thoughtfulness worth considering, if you do not accept their conclusions, but arrive at your own. They present important concepts to consider and believable clips from their experience that can be helpful.

So, Eric, here are my thoughts, first about your son: you have made the right choice as parents to encourage him in the pursuit of his passion AND to make all the blog responses available to him to consider in structuring a career safety net. I, too, have seen music majors become IT experts. Everyone should become proficient in all the tools of success: English, Math, Science, Literature, and Computer Skills ... too the best of their ability.

Also: history and thinking skills. With this comment I now address you and your concerns about serving society and the frightening reduction in American Student Competence.

Here is where I sound like a raving lunatic ... until you do your own research. Our education system has been taken over by a One World Government mentality. Thanks to No Child Left Behind legislation, it is a felony to let parents or anyone else know what the questions on the exams are and how the answers have changed since truth rained in the school system. I hear that the United Nations agenda 21 goal is to prepare everyone for a career that benefits the economy for "the good of all" instead of developing a person's God given talents to answer that person's calling. With this kind of misguiding being the official National Department of Education position, it is no wonder more kids, who are not dummies but very astute, are finding school curriculums not well grounded and not worthy of investing themselves. Thus the position of 19 to which we have dropped to in world stats.

So, I am more concerned with your thinking than your son's. Keep him your priority, not your concern about society's failings. Encourage him not only in music and math and other passion driven and earning skills, but also in rhetoric and heritage so he (and you) can detect when this sick society is trying to steal his God given heritage, as it prescribes in the Declaration of Independence, and his right to the pursuit of happiness ... and not to ascribe to United Nations goals that our school curriculums have become riddled with over the last 50 years.

Thanks for posting your request for help and the replies from the dozens of intelligent people from whom we can all learn something.